How I Argued with a Grumpy Old Frenchman and Won (sort of)

- "Look, monsieur, I don't know who you're talking about, but I booked a room for two."

Grand Hôtel du Loiret is a classically Parisian budget hotel -- small, quaint, locally owned, and centrally located. After checking out the official website and reading mostly positive reviews on Trip Advisor, I decided to give this hotel a shot. I booked over the phone and then emailed the hotel to request a confirmation. Below is a translated and heavily abbreviated version of that email exchange:

Not Doing Things in Porto

We arrived in Porto, a picturesque city in northern Portugal, ready to sample tons of port wine. As soon as we checked in, we took a cab across the river to Vila Nova de Gaia, where all the wine cellars are. We insisted on beginning our tour at the wine cellar that also sold cheese and crackers because we were famished. Thing is, our cabdriver was capable of finding any wine cellar but that one. He drove round and round, practicing his French with me, talking about keeping up with French news and keeping in touch with French friends and loving all things French. He also spoke extensively about Porto -- pointing out the architecture and providing a detailed history lesson -- all in French. This was amusing, but we were hungry and wanted our cheese right now. Now! At long last we found the cellar, bid adieu to our Francophile Portuguese cabdriver, and ate some freaking cheese. We managed to tag along on two wine cellar tours and sample four ports that afternoon. Success!

A Portuguese Light Drama

- "It's not a European vacation unless the lights go out."

Our apartment in Lisbon is fully-furnished, centrally-located, roomy, and beautiful. It has a wraparound balcony with views of the castle and the sea. It has cable TV, a hairdryer, and a free bottle of wine. What it doesn't have is electricity.

"It's not a European vacation unless the lights go out," quips Kellie. It's 1:30 a.m., and we're sitting around the couch soberly discussing whether or not to flip a mysterious switch above the breakers.

"I think we should do it," Kellie declares. "It's the one thing we haven't tried."

"But what if it's the gas? You said it might be the gas!" Ali isn't feeling daring tonight.